Somehow I am on my three hundredth blog post. Not all of them have been published on this blog mind you or completely finished for that matter. It is just that there are 300 entries when I click "edit posts". It's incredible that someone so self conscious and relatively innocuous could have had so much to say. I've been reading a few of my old posts now and then, wondering when I will get back to this blog which I've forgotten and abused for so long. I keep telling myself that tomorrow, I will write all that I've meant to write or at least have an update post so that what readers are still left out there will know what's happened. More importantly, have a post that I can look back on to remember where I was, where I am, in the here and now.
Could this be it? The post that explains in so many words where we all are today? Maybe:
JT has started kindergarten. He is five years and four months old. When I started this blog, he was my chubby 14 month old baby. Time has not just flown, it's warped to the future. Evie is now in fourth grade, she was starting kindergarten yesterday because LOOK, I wrote about it not so long ago. Tomorrow I will write that she has started college.
I am no longer in school. It was much too difficult to breath in as a law student while breathing out as a full time worker and then try to fit in motherhood and marriage in the moments when I could hold breath. I am disappointed, but law school will still be there when I and my family are ready. It may be far in the future or not there at all, but I am at peace with this. Ambition cost myself and my family too dearly. I love them too much to sacrifice this precious time because tomorrow, I will write that JT has grown up and started his own life.
I've gotten a promotion at work. I've been working some long shifts and now make more than twice my husband's salary. This is normally not an issue with us, however, the greater the disparity, the more bitterness I have that he must work just as hard for half as much or I work not as hard and make twice as much. But, I love him too much and try to hold my tongue when the children and I are waiting for him while our dinner grows cold. Because tomorrow, I'll need a hand to hold.
4 comments:
I missed you. Warm hands are hard to find. I pray you'll always keep your priorities the way you are now. Family first. Congrats on the big milestones. :)
Love the new look and the birds.
Law school will always be there. My fave story about this is that when I was in grade 12 and talking to one of my fave teachers - my modern history teacher - she mentioned that she had always wanted to study law. To me, she seemed very young although I had her as a history teacher for 4 years and so I said, "Why don't you?" Fast forward 3 years and we were sitting in law classes together. I asked her why she decided to study law and she looked at me funny. "Don't you remember what you said to me at the end of school, Oanh?" I wracked my brain but did not know what I had said. And she repeated the above story. Now (fast forward 14 years) she is very happily working in a Tribunal.
And my god, I'm amazed that JT and Evie (whom I still think of as Sweet Pea and Little Goose) have grown so much. Soak up these years, my friend.
Wow, 300 posts! It was so good to get an update on your life and what's happening. I can't believe Sweet Pea and Little Goose are in Kindergarten and Gr.4. My son also began Gr. 4, and it still surprises me when I say that out loud and write it. Where did the time go?!!
As always, you did what was right for you and your family. I know it must have been very difficult to give up your dream, but law school will always be there, when you are ready. Angela(TorontoGyopo)
Thank you thank you thank you for your support ladies. It's amazing that you are still here with me.
Nina, I've missed blogging and I hope my priorities stays this way until the kids no longer need me.
Oanh, Thank you for the story. That gives me a lot of hope that this is not the end of law school, just a long and much needed break.
Angela, I can't believe your son is in 4th grade now. He and Evie are about the same age, I remember reading about him on your blog when he was 5. Some should invent a time machine, if only just for parents. Would that I could go back and hold Evie a bit more while I was in school. 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade flew by it seems and I'm stuck thinking she's still my baby girl.
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