When to Call It Quits?

I'm thinking of retiring or seriously revamping this blog. Not because of the lack of things to write about. I have plenty of that. Rather, I'm thinking about quitting because I'm looking back on my last several months of posts and realizing that I'm doing none of my subjects justice. I think up a lot of topics while I'm driving to and from class (1.5 hours each way) or when I'm in meetings (hours and hours of my life GONE!) The thoughts are usually quite elegant and well formed; sometimes even profound, but these thoughts invariably end up being truncated into something short and trite that only my most loyal bloggy friends would care to peruse. (Thanks for that loyal bloggy friends, and new ones, hi So Yun and H. in Portland! H, what a small internet world that you know my real life buddy Wayland and I had no idea you even existed till he said his friend H. in Portland reads my blog religiously even though HE didn't know I had a blog and only found out that I did because he had mentioned to you that he was heading over to see his buddy J who happens to be married with two little ones called Evie and JT. Small small world, I never even knew you were a reader until he told me about you. Thanks for reading! Where was I??) Never mind balancing full time work, school, kids and marriage; what about my parents? Siblings? Cousins? Friends?

In the past few months, we've done a number of things I haven't had time to really write about. We've been to our good friends' wedding where J was the officiant (he was sworn in, over the phone for one day only as associate deputy of marriages of Alameda County or something like that) and Evie was a flower girl who had her two boy friends from babyhood fighting over her at the reception. We've hosted a few dinner parties where we had a crab and pho feast. (I only cook when there's a lot to be cooked.) Signed Evie up for hip hop classes (she starts in May) because she loved the JabbaWockeez but didn't think that girls could dance like that till I showed her Kaba Modern. Worried and worried about my poor sweet JT who has zero friends his age and who spends his days playing by himself or with great grandma. Celebrated the start of baseball season by heading to two games with two different sets of friends and because we just haven't seen them in months. Worried and worried about my good friend who only retired a few years ago but found out a little over a year ago that he has a debilitating disease. Realized that all I can do is enjoy our time together and our team (Go A's!) didn't win that day but we still shared resigned sighs and spurious hope of "maybe next time" (BOO Red Sox!) and he could still smile and make my little boy laugh even though he can't speak much anymore. (He doesn't read anymore I don't think, but my blog used to have a black background with white text. I changed my design for this particular friend.)

I have so much to write about but I have a lot to worry about too. Blogging has been bumped down the list of activities that I want to maintain. But then, this blog is my main journal for where I keep some things I want to remember and not only that, there are so so many people whom I've learned to care about in this blogosphere that I'm not sure I really want to completely let this go. How else would we keep in touch? I feel so bad for not commenting or having the chance to catch up on your blogs (you know who you are).

I wish so many of you were nearby so that we could just hang out. Some of you ARE nearby and I've had the opportunity to meet some of you. I'm so thankful for the new friendships that I've made from this little blog. I'm also thankful for this little outlet where I've occasionally felt free enough to let out some very personal matters. SO...what to do? What to do...?