The Pink Lotus Said to the Mommy Butterfly...

I have a friend who lives in the twin cities area in the Great White North that is Minnesota. She’s kind, smart, gentle, respectful, and thoughtful. We give each other “hugs” and track the development of our respective kids. Her little girl and my little guy are roughly the same age though I think her little girl is more brain and emotion to my guy’s brawn and energy (he broke a store’s glass door last weekend…with a pebble…long story short, it cost me about $300, one hundred off the initial estimate, anyhoo). We keep in touch via email and blog comments. My friend is currently going through a hard time in her life and of course, like any decent friend I offered to help. She being too proud and too human; declined my offer graciously (though it still stands). I don’t know if my respect for her could have grown anymore, but it did. She said it was too much to accept from an online friend, because, oh yeah, we’ve never actually met in person before.

I wonder though, if that actually matters. I’m lucky to have a group of wonderful friends out here in “the real world” but there are people who I know solely online. Some of these friends, because they are my friends (no adjectives and qualifiers necessary), I’ve known for over a dozen years and they know me completely on the inside. There’s no outer shell to get in the way. These friends are no less real to me despite our friendship being maintained via email, IM, and IRC. In fact, I think many of them know more about me than many of my offline friends. In times of hardship, my online friends have provided just as much if not more support as my “real life” friends. There are things that are so easy to say via faceless, toneless text in various fonts and states of capitalization and punctuation that no phone call or meeting could do. These are real relationships, because the emotions are real. The caring and concern are real.

My online friends and I often work long hours. We all spend at least 50 hours a week in small enclosed areas called offices or cubicles with little or no meaningful interaction with others. As social beings, we reach out in whatever way we can; to stay sane, to :wave: and :hug: and :slap with trout:; or even, to cry and lean on when there’s no one else awake at 3am because you know they’ll get back to you when they see your message. Is it less real because even though we’ve touched each other emotionally and intellectually, we’ve never shaken hands or have seen each other in person? While I doubt it’s healthy to have friends who are only from the internet, as long as everyone is being honest, I don’t think internet friendships are less real than many relationships out in the real world. There is nothing virtual about friendship, compassion, and empathy.

That is why I want to say to my friend in the twin cities, I’m thinking about you and I care about you. I’m hoping and praying for the best for both you and your daughter. You are my friend, not my online friend, or blog buddy, or whatever people like to call it to diminish the importance of connecting with people who are not in your immediate physical vicinity. You are my friend and I am here for you. Hell, I’m only a few clicks away.

PS To another friend, Kim Lee - GOOD LUCK TODAY!!